


Collecting Dust

by orphan_account



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Little episode continuation following on from Stuart and Rainie's engagement (20.04.20) in which Ben missed the Highway family dinner because he was at his dad's and news of the engagement sends him into a bit of a tailspin.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 11
Kudos: 116





	Collecting Dust

**Author's Note:**

> The book that's mentioned can be seen on Callum's bedside table during the bed scene with Whitney on June 10th 2019. Just fyi!

Ben opens the back door to his dad's house and sees Callum standing waiting for him. 

"You been there long?"

Callum shakes his head, no, and leans in for a kiss, gently cupping Ben's face in his hand. He loves this side of Callum that can not only hold his own with Phil Mitchell but is also willing to kiss Ben tenderly on his father’s territory. Truly all he wants after a long evening with his family is to be in this man’s arms.

Callum takes Ben's hand and leads the way back to the flat but ushers him into the parlour instead when they get inside.

"Tea?" Callum asks, pointing to the kettle. 

"Err.. no. Thanks. Why are we here?"

"Stuart and Rainie got engaged."

Ben's heart sinks. "He proposed again?" 

"Yeah and she said yes. They're err… celebrating."

Ben knows he should suggest they go out for a drink but he doesn't want to, the ringing in his ears intensifies when they turn the music up in the pub in the evenings and he's already so tired. He knows Callum would say no anyway, if he asked, and pretend he's fine where they are and he can't bear it.

"I'll get us a couple of beers from upstairs. At least I won't be able to hear them, ey?"

Callum smiles but doesn't laugh. "Thanks, Ben."

Whatever Stuart and Rainie are doing, they're doing it in their bedroom so Ben grabs the beers without incident. Back downstairs, Callum is sitting at his desk so Ben sits across from him and open both bottles. 

"You gonna ignore me in favour of work?" Callum says something but he's looking down at his papers. "Hm?"

"Nah, just forgot to sign this off. I'm all yours now."

"That's what I like to hear." They sit for a moment, it feels like Callum is waiting for Ben to say something he isn’t going to say. "How come you were waiting for me outside my dad's?" 

"I got your text saying you were on your way and, well, any excuse to get away from," he points at the ceiling. "And I was missing you."

"You saw me this morning."

"I know. I still missed you."

Ben takes a long pull of his beer and slumps down in his chair. He wants to ask if Callum was waiting for him because he was worried, worried he was going to walk out in front of a car or worried he'd fuck up when he told him about the engagement. 

"So how'd he do it this time? Did he hold a gun to her head?" Ben asks but doesn't look up for the answer. 

He feels his phone buzz once. Then twice. A third time. He sighs and fishes it out of his pocket. 

_I missed you._

_I always miss you when you're not around._

_Even if you're just at your dad's and I saw you this morning._

Ben slides his phone back in his pocket.

He feels Callum's hand on the back of his head and looks up to see him at his side, smiling sweetly, looking down at him adoringly. Ben looks away and takes another swig of his drink.

Callum walks around him, takes the bottle and puts it down on the desk, then meets Ben's eye. Ben's stomach turns, he's still so easy for the way Callum looks at him, still so overwhelmed that he looks at him like that, like he's something amazing.

Callum takes Ben's hands and drags him to his feet, holds his face and then kisses him, softly at first and then deeply. Like he knows what Ben needs is to be close, that he needs the reassurance of his mouth on his. 

When he breaks the kiss, Ben takes a second before he opens his eyes, wanting to stay in the safety of Callum's kiss. He’d stay there forever if he could.

Callum keeps his hands on Ben's face, using his thumb to gently stroke Ben's cheek. 

"Are you happy for them?" Ben asks, he never could help himself asking questions he didn't want to hear the answers to. 

"Yeah. It's lovely, isn't it? I reckon they’re really good for each other and now they get to be a proper little family."

Ben tries to pull back but Callum keeps holding on. "Good for them."

"Ben, I'm happy with where we are."

Callum’s words feel like a knife through the heart.

"Who said this was about us?" Callum lets go and Ben drops back in his chair and grabs his beer. "I ain't about to fall all over myself to congratulate Uncle Fester and his--"

Callum drops to his knees and shakes his head vigorously, no. 

"You don't have to congratulate them, you don't have to do anything."

Ben downs the rest of his beer and wishes it was something stronger.

"How did he do it?"

"What?"

"How did he propose?"

"He err.. he dressed up as Dracula. He had fake blood, a coffin, smoke machine, the works." 

"Smoke machine?" Callum opens his mouth to explain. "You know what, don't bother. You telling me that actually worked?"

"Nah, 'course not. She said yes after he told her how much she meant to him."

"Bet he's left the fangs in for the celebration though."

"Ben!"

"I'm gonna go get another beer."

He pushes his chair back and skirts around Callum, doesn’t look back, knows he won’t be able to keep walking away if he sees his face. 

It's dark in the flat and part of him just wants to fall into bed now and see if he feels any different tomorrow. Somehow, Stuart fucking Highway has managed to say all the right things like it’s easy. It makes him feel sick.

He cracks the beer open and walks into their bedroom, the bed's not even properly made which means Callum hasn't been in here since Ben got up. Actually, it means that tonight Ben will have to stand and watch as Callum shakes out the duvet and fluffs the pillows before he lets him get into bed. He smiles to himself at the memory of the last time they were both exhausted after a long day of running around after Lexi and Callum still stopped to straighten out the sheets.

He wanders round to Callum's side and roots out his book of football facts from the shelf of his bedside table. It always makes him smile. He could see that thing every day for the rest of his life and it would still make him smile. 

His phone buzzes. 

_Miss you._

Callum’s trying to reassure him, trying to make sure he knows what he means to him. 

He pulls at the duvet a bit and settles the pillows. There's no way it's army regulation but Callum will know he tried. 

And maybe that’s all that matters. 

Callum's face lights up when Ben walks into his office. 

"Where'd you get to?"

Ben holds up Callum's book, _Ian St.John's Book of Soccer Lists._ A book of football stats.

"I asked you about this and you said it was your comfort thing, like these were the only facts you could really hold onto when you didn't know what was real."

"I knew. I just wasn't ready--"

"You said you needed this book to remember which way was up. And when we first got together you were telling me all these facts--"

"Do you remember any of 'em?"

"Obviously not, Callum. But that ain't the point. You put it away. When I started staying over a lot, you put it away.”

“I remember, it was just collecting dust...”

“I thought, he’s so certain of us and nobody had ever… nobody had ever believed in me like you did. I am so lucky to have you. I’m certain of us too, Callum, I am. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Callum ducks his head and smiles that shy smile. “I can’t believe you noticed, I had that book by my bed my whole life. Then you came over to watch a movie and you stayed over, we hadn’t planned it or nothing, we just went to sleep together. I put the book away the next morning.”

Ben doesn’t need to hear every word to know what Callum said. 

"Come here.." Callum rushes over and Ben grabs his shirt and rocks onto his toes to meet his kiss but he's heard Callum's speech about the sanctity of the parlour enough times to know he has to get him upstairs if anything's going to happen. He pulls back and whispers, “I errr.. I made the bed.”

Callum laughs and Ben misses the cadence of his laugh, he does, but just seeing him so happy is enough tonight.

“Well, I’ll be the judge of that.” 

Callum takes Ben’s hand for the second time this evening and leads him upstairs. Upstairs to their bedroom. And Ben realises that he’s happy with where they are right now, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! x


End file.
